Espírito Sem Luz

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Ela olhou para o rosto de seu irmão, que dormia. Um jovem e belo rapaz.

Ela não sentia nada dentro de si. A alma fora tomada por um enorme vazio.

Ela era franzina, delicada.

Mas era também muito determinada. O que tinha de ser feito seria feito.

E a delicadeza se converteu em firmeza. Franzina, ela achou forças que nem imaginava possuir.

E o golpe foi certeiro. Atravessou o coração, quase sem resistência.

Não houve tempo para reação, exceto as involuntárias: o rosto de seu irmão se abriu numa expressão que misturava a surpresa e a dor.

Ela não se deteve. Rapidamente, cortou-lhe a cabeça.

****

Mais tarde ela queimaria a cabeça e o corpo, separadamente, tendo o cuidado de não retirar a estaca de madeira que lhe cravara no peito.

Sinal de que tudo dera certo, as grandes presas se retraíram e os lábios de seu irmão se fecharam num sorriso.

Ele sorriu, ela chorou. Finalmente.

Finalmente, lhe era permitido chorar a morte de seu irmão.

Ele não era mais um espírito sem luz.



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+1 # clarice messias 30-11--0001 00:00
:eek: começou bem mas terminou muito rapido poderia ser melhor
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0 # Edson Tomaz da Silva 30-11--0001 00:00
Oi, Clarice!

Obrigado pela gentileza de comentar o meu texto.

Minha idéia era realmente fazer um micro-conto, então realmente não pretendia alongar nenhuma das partes mais do que o necessário para que elas ficassem claras ao leitor.

Meu objetivo também era que o conto tivesse duas partes, onde o início sugerisse que a irmã era uma assassina fria e sanguinária e a conclusão mostrasse que ela havia feito o que fez motivada pelo amor ao seu irmão. Me preocupei mais em que o final demonstrasse o amor da personagem pelo irmão.

Agora, você me diz se acha que fui bem sucedido ou não.

Um BIG abraço!

Edson Tomaz
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